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- Due to his untimely death, Michael Jackson's London dates have been canceled. They were Thomas, aged six, and Kevin, aged nine.
- The news reports have got it all wrong: he didn't die in the cardiac ward having a heart attack, he was in the children's ward having a stroke.
- The cause of death has been determined as food poisoning: apparently he ate some twelve year old nuts.
- Michael's family donated his organs. In keeping with tradition, they'll be put into children.
- Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since the time Macaulay Culkin slept over.
- We really shouldn’t joke about Michael Jackson. Think of all the people he touched, especially the children.
