Click here to read more Michael Jackson jokes in the comments and submit your own.
- Due to his untimely death, Michael Jackson's London dates have been canceled. They were Thomas, aged six, and Kevin, aged nine.
- The news reports have got it all wrong: he didn't die in the cardiac ward having a heart attack, he was in the children's ward having a stroke.
- The cause of death has been determined as food poisoning: apparently he ate some twelve year old nuts.
- Michael's family donated his organs. In keeping with tradition, they'll be put into children.
- Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since the time Macaulay Culkin slept over.
- We really shouldn’t joke about Michael Jackson. Think of all the people he touched, especially the children.
The food poisoning one, except "7 year old wiener." (Toronto, ON.)
ReplyDeleteAt the time of Jacko's death he was trying to quit the Cub Scouts...he was down to ONE pack a day! Brooklyn, NY
ReplyDeleteLooks like God granted Farrah Fawcett's dying wish to keep all the children safe. (Arlington VA.)
ReplyDeleteThey're going to put MJ's ashes into an Etch-a-Sketch so that children can go on playing with his knob.
ReplyDelete(Heard that last one in Leeds, England.)
ReplyDeleteI heard it was suicide after they told him that Boys to Men was a band and not a delivery service.
ReplyDeleteCheboygan, WI
ASSHOLE!
DeleteThe medical examiner searched Jacko's house and found class A drugs in the kitchen, class B drugs in the living room and class 4B in his bedroom.
ReplyDeleteInitial reports that Michael Jackson suffered his heart attack at home were incorrect: he collapsed while racing to a Los Angeles department store.
ReplyDeleteSomeone had told him boys' trousers were half off.
(Heard in San Diego, CA)
Macauly Calkin was interviewed by CNN... He said it feels like something is missing inside!
ReplyDeleteThe forensics team confirmed Michael Jackson didnt die of a heart attack he actually dround in the new york harbour and they found him holding onto a boi bobbing up and down in the water.
ReplyDeleteThe forensics team confirmed Michael Jackson didnt die of a heart attack he actually tried to dround himself in the kiddy pool hoping a little boy would give him mouth to mouth
ReplyDeleteI heard he was spying on little boys and he got so excited when 1 was gettig changed he ran inside slipped over and dround in the kids potty
ReplyDeletelol, I love these MJ jokes threads.
ReplyDeleteI found another one here too:
http://www.wowfailblog.com/non-wow/the-day-the-music-died-michael-jackson-dead-jokes-collection/
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?
ReplyDeleteOh, about 3 hours.
Sadly his heart just couldn't beat it...
ReplyDeletePost-mortem has ruled out "Sunshine", "Moonlight" and "Good times", most probable cause said to be "Boogie".
ReplyDeleteHow did Michael Jackson get his kid to stop crying?
ReplyDeleteHe pulled his dick out of his ass.
Knock knock...
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Not Michael.
What's the difference between the lives of Farah Faucett and Michael Jackson?
ReplyDeleteShe did Majors and he did minors.
Michael Jackson's last dying wish was to record his last record backwards...he's already started decomposing.
ReplyDeleteHow does everyone at Neverland know when it's bedtime?
ReplyDeleteWhen the big hand touches the little hand.
Michael Jackson had so much plastic surgery they've decided to recycle him.
ReplyDeleteNow when you check out at the grocery store they ask you "paper or predator?"
Did you hear about Michael Jackson?
ReplyDeleteHe's going to be performing Thriller in a couple of days.
Did you hear ?
ReplyDeleteThe King of Pop just got iced !
Dude, I've added your comment. Please add a link to my site: http://michael-jackson-dead-jokes.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteYou can find it here: Michael Jackson Dead Jokes
Thanks!
Q. What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson?
ReplyDeleteA. One had a disease that attacks the anus, the other was a Charlie's Angel.
in michael jackson's will the only request is that they melt him down and turn him into a playstation console so little boys can still play with his knob.
ReplyDeleteapparently michael jackson couldnt play chess because he didnt know which colour to choose
ReplyDeleteIn memory of Michael Jacksons death, McDonalds have released the new Jackson burger. It’s a 50yr old bit of meat between 2 ten year old buns
ReplyDeletemc donald have made a new burger, the michael jackson burger ,it is madee from 50 year old alabbain meat in between 8 year old buns, then he died eating 8 yr old nuts
ReplyDeleteIn his will, Michael Jackson asked to be melted down and recycled as a Playstation controller so that children can go on playing with his knob.
ReplyDeleteSick monkey f*ckers
ReplyDeleteMy blog has over 250 michael jackson jokes and funny images. http://michaeljacksonsastiff.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteMichael Jackson's last words:
ReplyDelete"Take me to the children's hospital."
They're not funny, at all.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, Mr. "they're not funny, at all," because you apparently got to this page by Googling "Michael Jackson 500 Jokes."
ReplyDeleteStaples employees were surprised to learn that all pencil erasers missing ever
ReplyDeletesince Michael Jackson’s arrival for his memorial service have been found. It is
reported that one of the poll bearers for Michael heard what he described as
scratching noises and paper shuffling from within the casket. Upon opening the
casket it was revealed that Michael was busy using the erasers on sheet music of
all his songs. When asked what he was doing, Michael promptly replied, “I’m
decomposing”.
OBIT: Jackson, 50, was preceded in death by his nose.
ReplyDeleteq: what are michael jackson, farrah fawcett and billy mays getting for christmas?
ReplyDeletea: patrick swayze.
Thanks to the folks at Chunklet magazine for the shout-out! All of a sudden we're getting a zillion hits again.
ReplyDeleteYOU ASS HOLE WAT IS WRONG WITH U UR JUST A JELOUS DICK HEAD WHO CANT TAKE IT THAT MICHAEL WAS A ROLE MODEL AND HE WAS THE 3RD BEST THING THAT FUCKIN HAPPENED TO THIS EARTH. YOU DICKLESS FOOL GO LICK UR DADS VAGINA
ReplyDeleteTo the commenter above, whose caps lock key seems to be stuck in the on position, I note that you found your way here by googling "why couldn't Michael Jackson have his own kids."
ReplyDeleteBut please elaborate as to Nos. 1 and 2.
whats the difference between michael jackson and acne? acne waits until your at least 15 to cum on your face
ReplyDeleteWhat's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson diddled little children.
ReplyDeleteFULL OF SICK PEOPLE!!! May God bless your souls...
ReplyDeleteMicheal Jackson was 99% plastic so they turned him into Legos so little boys could play with him 4 a change
ReplyDeleteu guys are perverts!!! get a life!!
ReplyDeleteDoctors said the Michael Jackson died because he could not breathe, when He awoke in the middle of his 22th nose operation.
ReplyDeletegreat jokes
ReplyDeleteMichael Jackson (while still black) tells a dermatologist he doesn't like the way he looks. What does the dermatologist say?
ReplyDeleteThere's an app for that!
These are hilarious! hahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHow could you tell when Michael Jackson was having an orgy at his mansion? By all the Big Wheels parked in front of the house
Isn't it rude to joke about the death of someone?
ReplyDeleteHe is doing moonwalk in heaven thats obvious. But will be in hell soon so you can moonwalk in there maybe.
ReplyDeleteYour all so fucking rude how can you be such nasty people and post horrible things about his death. You don't even know him you believe everything the media says well I tell you what I know you might think oh we know yeah load of fans have told me but You know what we will keep saying the same thing there are more Michael Jackson fans then any other popstar.
ReplyDeleteI would love to kill all you fucking haters your sick losers who don't know what REAL MUSIC IS FUCKING GET A LIFE ALL OF YOU and grow up your shit Michael had to put up with the media and you ALL HIS LIFE AND ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS TALK SHIT ABOUT HIM EVEN IF HE DID FEEL KIDS UP I WON'T HATE HIM NONE OF TH FANS
Because he was a paedo
Delete@ Ella Watts
ReplyDeleteDafaq did I just read? Learn to fucking write a coherent sentence you mouth breather
I heard that Michael Jackson once visited a ten year old George Vreeland Hill in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteHill was touched.
Just wondering. Did Michael's body decompose or was he recycled?
ReplyDeletethis is just sick
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't Michael Jackson like toast?
ReplyDeletebecause he's dead
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