Friday, June 26, 2009

Please add your own Michael Jackson jokes in the comments!

Click here to read more Michael Jackson jokes in the comments and submit your own.
  • Due to his untimely death, Michael Jackson's London dates have been canceled. They were Thomas, aged six, and Kevin, aged nine.
  • The news reports have got it all wrong: he didn't die in the cardiac ward having a heart attack, he was in the children's ward having a stroke.
  • The cause of death has been determined as food poisoning: apparently he ate some twelve year old nuts.
  • Michael's family donated his organs. In keeping with tradition, they'll be put into children.
  • Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since the time Macaulay Culkin slept over.
  • We really shouldn’t joke about Michael Jackson. Think of all the people he touched, especially the children.

71 comments:

  1. Little DoritJune 26, 2009

    The food poisoning one, except "7 year old wiener." (Toronto, ON.)

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  2. At the time of Jacko's death he was trying to quit the Cub Scouts...he was down to ONE pack a day! Brooklyn, NY

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  3. AnonymousJune 26, 2009

    Looks like God granted Farrah Fawcett's dying wish to keep all the children safe. (Arlington VA.)

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  4. They're going to put MJ's ashes into an Etch-a-Sketch so that children can go on playing with his knob.

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  5. (Heard that last one in Leeds, England.)

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  6. AnonymousJune 26, 2009

    I heard it was suicide after they told him that Boys to Men was a band and not a delivery service.

    Cheboygan, WI

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  7. Pinball WizardJune 26, 2009

    The medical examiner searched Jacko's house and found class A drugs in the kitchen, class B drugs in the living room and class 4B in his bedroom.

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  8. Initial reports that Michael Jackson suffered his heart attack at home were incorrect: he collapsed while racing to a Los Angeles department store.

    Someone had told him boys' trousers were half off.

    (Heard in San Diego, CA)

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  9. Macauly Calkin was interviewed by CNN... He said it feels like something is missing inside!

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  10. AnonymousJune 26, 2009

    The forensics team confirmed Michael Jackson didnt die of a heart attack he actually dround in the new york harbour and they found him holding onto a boi bobbing up and down in the water.

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  11. AnonymousJune 26, 2009

    The forensics team confirmed Michael Jackson didnt die of a heart attack he actually tried to dround himself in the kiddy pool hoping a little boy would give him mouth to mouth

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  12. AnonymousJune 26, 2009

    I heard he was spying on little boys and he got so excited when 1 was gettig changed he ran inside slipped over and dround in the kids potty

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  13. lol, I love these MJ jokes threads.

    I found another one here too:
    http://www.wowfailblog.com/non-wow/the-day-the-music-died-michael-jackson-dead-jokes-collection/

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?

    Oh, about 3 hours.

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  15. Sadly his heart just couldn't beat it...

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  16. Post-mortem has ruled out "Sunshine", "Moonlight" and "Good times", most probable cause said to be "Boogie".

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  17. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    How did Michael Jackson get his kid to stop crying?

    He pulled his dick out of his ass.

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  18. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    Knock knock...

    Who's there?

    Not Michael.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    What's the difference between the lives of Farah Faucett and Michael Jackson?

    She did Majors and he did minors.

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  20. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    Michael Jackson's last dying wish was to record his last record backwards...he's already started decomposing.

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  21. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    How does everyone at Neverland know when it's bedtime?

    When the big hand touches the little hand.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousJune 27, 2009

    Michael Jackson had so much plastic surgery they've decided to recycle him.

    Now when you check out at the grocery store they ask you "paper or predator?"

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  23. Did you hear about Michael Jackson?

    He's going to be performing Thriller in a couple of days.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousJune 28, 2009

    Did you hear ?

    The King of Pop just got iced !

    ReplyDelete
  25. Dude, I've added your comment. Please add a link to my site: http://michael-jackson-dead-jokes.blogspot.com/
    You can find it here: Michael Jackson Dead Jokes
    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousJune 28, 2009

    Q. What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson?

    A. One had a disease that attacks the anus, the other was a Charlie's Angel.

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousJune 28, 2009

    in michael jackson's will the only request is that they melt him down and turn him into a playstation console so little boys can still play with his knob.

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  28. AnonymousJune 29, 2009

    apparently michael jackson couldnt play chess because he didnt know which colour to choose

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  29. AnonymousJune 29, 2009

    In memory of Michael Jacksons death, McDonalds have released the new Jackson burger. It’s a 50yr old bit of meat between 2 ten year old buns

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  30. AnonymousJune 29, 2009

    mc donald have made a new burger, the michael jackson burger ,it is madee from 50 year old alabbain meat in between 8 year old buns, then he died eating 8 yr old nuts

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  31. In his will, Michael Jackson asked to be melted down and recycled as a Playstation controller so that children can go on playing with his knob.

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  32. AnonymousJune 29, 2009

    Sick monkey f*ckers

    ReplyDelete
  33. My blog has over 250 michael jackson jokes and funny images. http://michaeljacksonsastiff.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousJuly 02, 2009

    Michael Jackson's last words:
    "Take me to the children's hospital."

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousJuly 07, 2009

    They're not funny, at all.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Interesting, Mr. "they're not funny, at all," because you apparently got to this page by Googling "Michael Jackson 500 Jokes."

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  37. Staples employees were surprised to learn that all pencil erasers missing ever
    since Michael Jackson’s arrival for his memorial service have been found. It is
    reported that one of the poll bearers for Michael heard what he described as
    scratching noises and paper shuffling from within the casket. Upon opening the
    casket it was revealed that Michael was busy using the erasers on sheet music of
    all his songs. When asked what he was doing, Michael promptly replied, “I’m
    decomposing”.

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousJuly 16, 2009

    OBIT: Jackson, 50, was preceded in death by his nose.

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  39. q: what are michael jackson, farrah fawcett and billy mays getting for christmas?

    a: patrick swayze.

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  40. Thanks to the folks at Chunklet magazine for the shout-out! All of a sudden we're getting a zillion hits again.

    ReplyDelete
  41. AnonymousJuly 18, 2009

    YOU ASS HOLE WAT IS WRONG WITH U UR JUST A JELOUS DICK HEAD WHO CANT TAKE IT THAT MICHAEL WAS A ROLE MODEL AND HE WAS THE 3RD BEST THING THAT FUCKIN HAPPENED TO THIS EARTH. YOU DICKLESS FOOL GO LICK UR DADS VAGINA

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  42. To the commenter above, whose caps lock key seems to be stuck in the on position, I note that you found your way here by googling "why couldn't Michael Jackson have his own kids."

    But please elaborate as to Nos. 1 and 2.

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  43. whats the difference between michael jackson and acne? acne waits until your at least 15 to cum on your face

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  44. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson diddled little children.

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  45. FULL OF SICK PEOPLE!!! May God bless your souls...

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  46. Micheal Jackson was 99% plastic so they turned him into Legos so little boys could play with him 4 a change

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  47. AnonymousMay 18, 2010

    u guys are perverts!!! get a life!!

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  48. Doctors said the Michael Jackson died because he could not breathe, when He awoke in the middle of his 22th nose operation.

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  49. AnonymousJuly 09, 2010

    great jokes

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  50. Michael Jackson (while still black) tells a dermatologist he doesn't like the way he looks. What does the dermatologist say?

    There's an app for that!

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  51. These are hilarious! hahahaha.

    How could you tell when Michael Jackson was having an orgy at his mansion? By all the Big Wheels parked in front of the house

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  52. Isn't it rude to joke about the death of someone?

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  53. AnonymousJune 12, 2012

    He is doing moonwalk in heaven thats obvious. But will be in hell soon so you can moonwalk in there maybe.

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  54. Your all so fucking rude how can you be such nasty people and post horrible things about his death. You don't even know him you believe everything the media says well I tell you what I know you might think oh we know yeah load of fans have told me but You know what we will keep saying the same thing there are more Michael Jackson fans then any other popstar.

    I would love to kill all you fucking haters your sick losers who don't know what REAL MUSIC IS FUCKING GET A LIFE ALL OF YOU and grow up your shit Michael had to put up with the media and you ALL HIS LIFE AND ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS TALK SHIT ABOUT HIM EVEN IF HE DID FEEL KIDS UP I WON'T HATE HIM NONE OF TH FANS

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousJuly 03, 2013

      Because he was a paedo

      Delete
  55. @ Ella Watts
    Dafaq did I just read? Learn to fucking write a coherent sentence you mouth breather

    ReplyDelete
  56. I heard that Michael Jackson once visited a ten year old George Vreeland Hill in the hospital.
    Hill was touched.

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  57. Just wondering. Did Michael's body decompose or was he recycled?

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  58. this is just sick

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  59. AnonymousJuly 22, 2013

    Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast?
    because he's dead

    ReplyDelete
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